Field of 5 Year Olds
July 27, 2005
Happy summer to everyone. We've just completed a successful t-ball season here. I volunteered to coach our son's t-ball team this summer. NRC (short for National Research Corp) finished the season at 6 wins 2 losses. We had sharp royal blue t-shirts for uniforms. My son of course wore baseball pants so he could slide, and bright red cleats. This was his first crack at baseball. A few highlights, lowlights, and observations...
1) The league ordered these crappy, one-size fits all hats that were adjustable. As coach you spend most of your time during the game looking for players' hats, adjusting their hats, listening to endless complaints about how their hats don't fit. Mostly when the ball is in play. They're obsessed with their hats. A herd of raging bulls could be running toward my son and he would be oblivious to them, trying to fix his hat or asking me to fix it.
2) Your average t-ball player stops running to first base 3-4 feet before he gets to the bag, pretty much every time. They're just not capable of making it to first. Now second base, that's no problem. They run through second base right on out into the outfield with gusto. Or they run into right field, left field, anywhere but second base. I finally purchased a set of dog hunting collars and put them on the boys and zapped them every time they overran second. By game 6 we had it down.
3) It takes until about the middle of the 2nd inning for the players to start asking what we have for snacks and if the game is about over yet.
4) A t-ball player has no idea where the shortstop position is. He'd have better luck finding the Holy Grail. I'd send a kid out to play shortstop and five minutes later he'd be wondering out in left field. I basically had to put on an orange vest, bring out a couple bright red batons and backed them right into position.
5) Nothing is better than a smile from a kid after he gets up from sliding into home plate.
6) They let you coach out in the field which is nice. A typical play would go like this... Ground ball hit to our pitcher. I say, "First Base!" Our pitcher turns towards third. I holler "First Base!" The pitcher starts to run into our dug out. I scream "First BASE!" He makes a motion towards home plate. I scream "First freaking BAAAAASSEEEEE!" my eyeballs popping out of my head. Our pitcher wheels around and throws a dart right at me, narrowly missing the onions.
7) You learn to multi-task. One time in the field, I had a player who had dirt in his eye, one had to go to the bathroom, one was thirsty, another asked me what inning it was, another was crying because he didn't want to play third, and another was in the middle of a detailed description of a rash he had.
8) Every single game is played in blazing 97 degree heat. You learn patience standing at home plate in sweltering heat, waiting for your player to pick up his bat, adjust his batting helping that is five sizes too big for him and approach the tee. "Any day now Johnny. Don't mind me, I'm just having a mild heat stroke here. I've got alllllll day for you." Of course those thoughts were never verbalized.
9) You want to be a good sport but sometimes original sin kicks in. After an opposing player took his 50th swing at the tee with no success our shortstop turned to me and said, "Coach this kid can't hit." I responded, "Can't argue with you there Billy. This guy sucks."
10) When the game's over, there's nothing better than a frozen Popsicle or ice cream sandwich. That's what they play for. That and glory.
1-2-3 NRC!!!!
Happy summer to everyone. We've just completed a successful t-ball season here. I volunteered to coach our son's t-ball team this summer. NRC (short for National Research Corp) finished the season at 6 wins 2 losses. We had sharp royal blue t-shirts for uniforms. My son of course wore baseball pants so he could slide, and bright red cleats. This was his first crack at baseball. A few highlights, lowlights, and observations...
1) The league ordered these crappy, one-size fits all hats that were adjustable. As coach you spend most of your time during the game looking for players' hats, adjusting their hats, listening to endless complaints about how their hats don't fit. Mostly when the ball is in play. They're obsessed with their hats. A herd of raging bulls could be running toward my son and he would be oblivious to them, trying to fix his hat or asking me to fix it.
2) Your average t-ball player stops running to first base 3-4 feet before he gets to the bag, pretty much every time. They're just not capable of making it to first. Now second base, that's no problem. They run through second base right on out into the outfield with gusto. Or they run into right field, left field, anywhere but second base. I finally purchased a set of dog hunting collars and put them on the boys and zapped them every time they overran second. By game 6 we had it down.
3) It takes until about the middle of the 2nd inning for the players to start asking what we have for snacks and if the game is about over yet.
4) A t-ball player has no idea where the shortstop position is. He'd have better luck finding the Holy Grail. I'd send a kid out to play shortstop and five minutes later he'd be wondering out in left field. I basically had to put on an orange vest, bring out a couple bright red batons and backed them right into position.
5) Nothing is better than a smile from a kid after he gets up from sliding into home plate.
6) They let you coach out in the field which is nice. A typical play would go like this... Ground ball hit to our pitcher. I say, "First Base!" Our pitcher turns towards third. I holler "First Base!" The pitcher starts to run into our dug out. I scream "First BASE!" He makes a motion towards home plate. I scream "First freaking BAAAAASSEEEEE!" my eyeballs popping out of my head. Our pitcher wheels around and throws a dart right at me, narrowly missing the onions.
7) You learn to multi-task. One time in the field, I had a player who had dirt in his eye, one had to go to the bathroom, one was thirsty, another asked me what inning it was, another was crying because he didn't want to play third, and another was in the middle of a detailed description of a rash he had.
8) Every single game is played in blazing 97 degree heat. You learn patience standing at home plate in sweltering heat, waiting for your player to pick up his bat, adjust his batting helping that is five sizes too big for him and approach the tee. "Any day now Johnny. Don't mind me, I'm just having a mild heat stroke here. I've got alllllll day for you." Of course those thoughts were never verbalized.
9) You want to be a good sport but sometimes original sin kicks in. After an opposing player took his 50th swing at the tee with no success our shortstop turned to me and said, "Coach this kid can't hit." I responded, "Can't argue with you there Billy. This guy sucks."
10) When the game's over, there's nothing better than a frozen Popsicle or ice cream sandwich. That's what they play for. That and glory.
1-2-3 NRC!!!!
posted by Hank Louis Tierney at 7:54 PM
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